✨Does love continue when your "other half" crosses over?

I'm taking time in these newsletters to share my thoughts about when you might be ready to join me in bringing through your loved ones in a mediumship session. I've written about the loss of a parent, and here we'll explore the death of a partner.

A major factor that influence readiness is how the death impacts your life, and losing a partner is devastating in so many ways. 

As my grief coach trainer Heather Stang wrote in one of her books, "The rawness of grief, the anger, the disbelief, and the sorry are not choices; they are instinctive responses to the vacuum left by loss."*

My dad showed me the truth of that statement.

He was utterly devastated when my mom, his dear Faith, died at age 74. They had been married almost 48 years, and were looking forward to at least another decade of enjoying retirement together.

She was the social energy behind their many interests, the melody so to speak, and he provided the steady bass drum beat that kept them going. 

If you have lost a partner, you've lost so much more than the person: your identity as part of a couple, maybe a sense of security, relationships that functioned because of being a couple, and so much more.

He was lucky in that he had most of the elements that contribute to recovery- a caring community (he never did join a grief support group though), access to healthy food and routines around meals; he was very active biking and walking around the island, and enjoyed good sleep habits. 

One element he did not have was any sense that he could still communicate with her- he believed that life ended when the breath ended- and I see now that that belief prolonged his grief.

It took him a good 2 years of deep mourning before he could conceive of building a new life without her, and that is not unusual.

There's no calendar date that marks readiness, and no grief that looks exactly like another's.

But there are quiet signs worth noticing.

You may find yourself drawn to new interests, or curious about experiences that would have felt unimaginable in the rawer months of loss.

You might notice that conversations with others who understand - people who've walked a similar road - feel nourishing rather than draining. You may catch yourself wondering, really wondering, whether your partner is still somewhere close.

That wondering is its own kind of readiness.

Your partner's love didn't go anywhere. And when you're ready, we can listen for it together.

In peace,

Johanna

P.S. One of my favorite clients ever booked a 2nd session on her birthday, saying she wanted to celebrate with her husband! He had said exactly what she needed to hear in our first session, and we had a lovely time with many more souls joining in. Who knew that was possible?! Her truth: "It was the best birthday ever!"

P.P.S. If you like podcasts, check out "Life Reconstructed," by Teresa Amaral Beshwaite, available on all podcast platforms. Most episodes are 7-10 minutes long, and address a variety of topics. Perfect when you need a quick pick-me-up!